Well, 2014
is into its second quarter and here I am sitting in a place that is so far
removed from Trivandrum, the election heat as well as the real heat there seems
surreal. It is -1°C and snowing outside where I am now. The year started off crazily for me, when I was
woken up at 6 am on January 1st by a distress call from Kanyakumari.
I was sleeping at my friend’s place, where I had gone to welcome in the New
Year, saw the city explode into colours across a 180° arc at midnight from his apartment
balcony, drank and played cards till the wee hours. The call was from a group
of Japanese college kids, who had gone to celebrate the New Year at the land’s
end of India. “We have been robbed”, the girl said. And I felt relieved. Nobody
drowned! So far, so good. She said the police just came and went and did
nothing.
So, there I
was, in Kanyakumari at 9 am, Jan 1, 2014. The police station is less than 100m
from the hotel (Shivas something) where these kids stayed, but it might as well
have been in another planet. They were robbed of couple of Macbooks, 2 smartphones
and a watch, probably by the hotel staff who were watching them getting drunk
and sleeping without locking their door. The kids called the police, who came
after some time and asked a few questions to the night clerk and left, and
refused to register any complaint. The kids were dumbstruck! Why in the world
would policemen refuse to file a complaint and investigate a theft? Well,
welcome to India, I said.
I took the
two guys who lost the stuff and went to the police station. Only acceptable
language is Tamil! The police and the hotel guys all seemed to be in this
racket together. I somehow managed to impress upon the SI and ASI the need to
file a complaint and give a copy each to the two kids, which they gave by noon
and we left the place. They lost stuff, but stuff can be replaced, and I was
surprised at the speed at which the kids recovered and decided to enjoy their
rest of the vacation in Kerala. (As I was leaving, I also saw these same police
guys totally ignore a man from Meghalaya, who too was robbed, and who couldn’t
speak Tamil. In hindsight, I should have helped him out too, but I was hurrying
to get the kids out of that place, partially driven by the shame I felt as an
Indian, and partially by hunger.)
So, that
was my New Year. A reality check of how things work, rather don’t work, in our
country.
I was not
planning to write about the election, nor anything else, for that matter, but
since I started writing I might as well throw my two cents in. Last time, I
persuaded at least one person to vote for Mr Tharoor. Here was a man of
international stature, famed author, journalist (I used to enjoy his articles
in the International Herald Tribune) and above all, a man with experience
living in international cities. The only negative I could think of was his
involvement with the mother of all inefficient, ineffective bureaucracies, the
UN! Just kidding.
The
expectations were quite high. He did perform well compared to all his immediate
predecessors. But, was that enough is the question. I, personally was expecting
a Rolls Royce, but think we got a Honda Accord. To be fair, the Honda Accord is
an excellent upgrade, especially given the Ambassador and Standard Herald
models we had before that. Still, I must say I was a bit disappointed. And,
though not his fault, the fact that the State government didn’t care about our
city hurt too.
So, how is
the field this time? The positives, stated above, are still valid for Mr
Tharoor. The controversy (controversies?) surrounding his personal life,
though, is a bummer.
The BJP
candidate could spring a surprise, as they have succeeded in creating lot of
hype, similar to some states and cities. It could also end up as usual – all fart
and no $hit.
The only
thing everybody know about the Left candidate is that nobody knows him. It is a
tragedy, and a pointer to the sad state of affairs in our State, that the Left
is resorting to caste-based politics and pandering to mullahs, bishops and
living gods for survival. He might win, if that particular group vote en-bloc
for him, as it is wont to do.
A message
to AAP – get rid of those ridiculous caps. You started off well by ridding
yourself of that Anna Hazare clown. Now get rid of those caps. And, get some
people who can speak the lingo, i.e. Malayalam, like the common man to be your
spokespersons.
All said
and done, the buttons have been pressed, the machines have been packed and we
have a month to find out who will eventually disappoint us.
I am, however,
not so sure of the voting machines. Did we have a transparent process for introducing
them? Was the technology verified independently? Some did malfunction here and
there. Could these be tampered with?
Most of us
would like to think it is all fool-proof, but this is India and anything can
happen.
Here’s a
story. Long back, in the 1980s, if you were a Mallu in Bangalore trying to take
the Island Express back home urgently and needed a reservation, you went to the
railway canteen on the 1st floor of Majestic station and checked out
Mr N, a waiter there, and he would give you a ticket, at least an RAC seat, for
a small extra. Then, at the turn of the decade, going into the nineties, Indian
Railways began computerizing their reservation system. Everybody thought Mr N
would go out of business. He didn’t. He just moved his base to Krishnarajapuram,
a small station near Bangalore, and continued with his merry ways. You had to
travel that extra mile to see him. That was all.
P.S. I
would have voted for only one person (perhaps two) this time. Her name is
Sheeba, and she is a candidate from Alathur. She, it seems, asked her staff not
to put up any flex boards as part of her campaign. I hope she wins. Just go to
Vellayambalam and take a look at those huge faces sneering down from ugly flex boards
on what could have been one of the most beautiful roundabouts in Trivandrum.
