Being the
capital, Trivandrum attracts all kinds of people who want to air their
grievances in front of the Secretariat here, the de-facto symbol of power. So,
for example, if you are a group of divinely ordained people like the Brahmins
who used to wield some power; but are currently facing threats from the
unwashed, uncouth, un-everything nincompoops (a guy called Parur Rakesh from a
lower caste was appointed as a priest recently) who are taking away the one primary
job of yours – i.e. having personal conversations with imaginary beings; then you
could pack your $#it and come to Trivandrum and protest. You could build a
sacred fire in front of the Secretariat and invoke the gods to wreak destruction on the sacrilegious punks
trying to cut in on your action. It should be a piece of cake, since you have
the secret hotline to said being.
Anyway,
what I am trying to say is that this is the beauty of India’s
democracy. You are free to protest. Another beauty of our so-called democracy is
that the state is free to send policemen to disrobe you and crush your family
jewels in front of TV cameras broadcasting live to mallu living rooms, as the
Marxists recently discovered to their chagrin. This is part of the government’s
Bollicks Crushing Programme (BCP) modelled after the Chief Minister’s Mass
Contact Programme (MCP, jana sambarkka paripadi). We’re in line for
another UN recognition pretty soon. Our MP, Sasi Tha ‘Roor’ should pull some
strings in the UN through his social networks to make this a reality. I dream
of a day when I would be able to see huge billboards of our CM holding spherical
objects in his hands, similar to the ones that showed
him holding a bunch of MCP petitions. Talk of emasculating the opposition! Way
to go!
(He, our
CM, is back with his MCP. When the CM has to go around addressing issues that
should ideally be solved by a clerk, then that means something is seriously wrong with
the government machinery. Perhaps he could get rid of many of these people and
save the exchequer some money.)
Well, apart
from the above-mentioned political hullabaloo, Trivandrum also hosts processions
and parades by a plethora of religious groupings. Especially, some processions
promoted by the Hindu right appear to be part of
their strategy to expand their base in Kerala. There was one in which cute
little kids dressed as Krishna were forced to walk on the hot city streets.
Curiously, none of the kids (pictures) I saw were dark as Krishna. They were
all fair to very fair complexioned, not even wheatish. Whatever happened to kaakkakarumbans
and kaarvarnans? Another was the Ganapati procession. Suddenly, we
are like Bombay! Big-time immersion of Ganpati Bappa in the Arabian Sea. I don’t
know whether they were singing “Ganpati bappa morya pudhchya varshi lavkar
ya” (Lord Ganesha, come again soon next year) during the procession, but
recently when I went to clean-up Sankhumugham beach with a group of volunteers,
there were still some Styrofoam, plastic and plaster-of-Paris remains of the
lord on the beach, and I almost wanted to go "pudhchya varshi yeu naka".
Where are the eco-warriors when we need them?
Some good (?)
things that happened in the recent past – Nilgiri’s started selling Yakult
probiotics drinks, which my kids used to love back in Japan. They also have
Lindt and other expensive Swiss chocolates (have resisted the temptation so far),
tortillas and even miso soups on their shelves. Persimmons are back in season at
my favourite vegetable vendor “Spring” in Nanthancode. There are a couple of
new restaurants, which I have to try out. And, a new online lending library (letusread.in)
has started functioning, for which I promptly signed up today after I read the
news in The Hindu. Interesting times ahead.
PS. Couple
of days ago I saw a news item where a guy from Kochi was complaining there was
a Trivandrum lobby working against them. It seems Tha 'Roor' had commented
about some stupid cricket game getting washed out, which didn’t go down well
with the Cochin dudes and Cricket Association honchos. What is with this 'Roor' guy
and cricket? Anyway, I was interested in this powerful Trivandrum lobby. So, I
checked out the KCA website and lo and behold, what do I find? Of all the
matches given to KCA, barring a few junior games in Perinthalmanna and
Thalaserry, everything else was allotted to – no, not Trivandrum, but Kochi,
which included the washed out Duleep Trophy matches, Ranji matches, ODIs,
everything! Some powerful Trivandrum lobby this is! Or, it might just be that this Trivandrum lobby
strived to get all the matches for Kochi so that they could sit back and enjoy
the super soppers in action. Wicked, or what? I, for one, think the super
soppers are more fun. I hope more and more such matches are washed out, whether
in Trivandrum or Kochi, or Ranchi or Cuttack so that these match-fixing, lazy,
untalented bozos do not get a chance to show off their mediocrity.
One thing
we all should remember – when things like these happen, it means there is money
involved and "they" would like to keep it as exclusive as possible, lest their share
of the pie become smaller. "You" are there just to hold the flags, throw the
stones and get kicked in the nuts. They walk all the way to the bank. OK, not
walk, but go in a car. Land will be given away for free to moneybags, coal
fields will be given to corporations for peanuts, and frequencies will be
allocated for a pittance to telecom companies. In the meantime, you’ll be given
polluted air to breathe, poisoned water to drink and intermittent power to
watch the idiot box. Be thankful.
