It’s festive
season again. The air is filled with the pungent smell of burning rubber,
plastic and waste. People are singing
paeans to the new messiah - “His Royal Highness, Benevolent, Right Reverend
Excellent Chief Minister and Royal Disburser of Alms to the Poor, the Crippled,
the Lame and the Blind, and the Royal Shower-er of Riches on Rich People”.
People on
the streets are also singing paeans to the Royal Opposition for royally
protesting the disbursing and showering while wearing crowns and holding
sceptres, symbols which they despise.
People are
singing paeans to their MP tha Roor for clearing the environment regarding the
deepwater port (the thought behind it is what matters; i.e. the afterthought,
after an airport gets all the clearances in the blink of an eye).
They are
also singing paeans to the Mayor-ess for triggering a renewed interest in physics,
especially the study of inertia.
People are
so much into singing paeans, they don’t realize the pains in their nether
regions caused by the actions (no, I don’t want to spell it out) of the above
royalty.
2013 has
been an “annus stupidus” by any standards, but as G. Carlin says, “Inside every
silver lining there is a dark cloud”.
And that
dark cloud is the New and Improved Kerala Model of Development (NIKMOD),
pioneered by the new messiah who is travelling at warp speed to far away
destinations. The people are yet to catch up with him. Well, how can they? They
are singing paeans (with their heads up their *****)!
NIKMOD envisions
airports at every nook and corner of the State, like bus stands. And this would
usher in all-round development. New roads will be built, shopping malls and
high-rise condominiums will come up, and international schools will sprout. It
would also bring in high-end hospitals with magic ventilators that create
illusions of life in the dead to console the relatives and relieve them of the
corrupting influence of money. (I didn’t
make this up. This is something I read in the Inter-webby about the benefits of
Aranmula airport, though, I admit, he didn’t specify the ventilator part).
And the
good tidings don’t end there. We will have bullet trains, monorails, ports,
seaplanes, regular planes, convention centres, 5-star hotels, and not to forget
helipads at places where we can’t build airports (no $hit!). Ooh! I can’t wait
for 2014 –which I hope would be an annus ridiculus- to roll in.
A Happy New
Year to Y’all!
P.S. A few
days ago, the statue of a former CM was unveiled in Trivandrum. At the time,
the government said it will allot land to a foundation in his name. Voila! 48
hours later, the foundation has 37 cents of land in Palayam. This land, mind you, is
not in Palayam, Calicut, but in Palayam, Trivandrum - a city with no land for any development, if you believe the current
“His Royal Highness, Benevolent, Right Reverend Excellent Chief Minister and
Royal Disburser of Alms to the Poor, the Crippled, the Lame and the Blind, and
the Royal Shower-er of Riches on Rich People”. And that too for a man whose loyalties lay
elsewhere and who had no love lost for Trivandrum as such.
